第一章　无敌腹黑

1 We Close at Ten 我们十点关门  2
2 Burglars Broke into the House 盗贼来访  2
3 A Polite Horse 有礼貌的马  3
4 Have the Money 致富  3
5 The Man Is Looking for It 他正在找呢  4
6 Egges 鸡蛋  4
7 Kept Coming Back 总是飞回来  5
8 Good News and Bad News 好消息与坏消息  5
9 You Should Be Replaced 你应该被替换  6
10 How to Get a Seat by the Fire 怎样在火炉旁找个好座位  7
11 It Hurts 疼  7
12 Is He Really Ill 他真病了吗  8
13 Sharing on the Train 火车上的共享  9
14 Letter from A Fool 傻瓜来信  10
15 To Bury the Goldfish 埋金鱼  11
16 Perfect Project 完美设计  11
17 Two Hundred Times 两百遍  12
18 Who on earth Lost 到底谁输了  13
19 The Eager Beaver 工作狂  14
20 Two Soldiers 两个士兵  15
21 Fishing with a Mirror 用镜子钓鱼  17
22 A Large Hole 大水坑  18
23 A Shoebox 鞋盒  19
24 NASA Mars Mission 国航局火星计划  21
25 Two plus Two 二加二  22
26 Drunk Superman 喝醉的超人  24

第二章　萌倒童年

1 Mother and Son 母与子  28
2 Why Is He Crying 他为什么哭  28
3 Is It a Good Way 是好办法吗  28
4 Why Is Your Face So Red 你的脸为什么那么红  29
5 A Clever Girl 聪明的小女孩  29
6 A Good Box of Matches 一盒好火柴  30
7 It Was Fine This Morning 今天早晨还好着呢  30
8 I Need His Football 我需要他的足球  31
9 What do They Eat 吃什么  31
10 A Boy with a Big Head 大头娃娃  32
11 A Good Boy 好孩子  33
12 Where Is the Father 爸爸在哪儿  33
13 I Just Showed Him 我只是让他看了看  34
14 List Your Sins 列出你的过错  35
15 God’s Creations 上帝的创造  36
16 Pregnant 怀孕  37
17 Two Cents a Glass 两分一杯  38
18 Little Rock Buys the Bread 小洛克买面包  39
19 The New Baby 新宝宝  40
20 An Artist’s Daughter 画家的女儿  41
21 Lucky Mother 幸运的母亲  42
22 Why Does It Rain on the Road Too 雨为什么也要下在路上呢  43
23 She Wants to Keep Them 她想占有它们  44
24 Whose Baby Is It 谁的宝宝  46
25 Jesus Is in the Bathroom 耶稣在卫生间里  47
26 Big TroubIe 麻烦大了  49

第三章　名人趣谈

1 Before the Foundering 沉船之前  52
2 Hat 帽子  52
3 There Isn’t a Scar on Your Body 身上没有疤  53
4 1+1=1 1+1=1  53
5 1 Make Way for a Fool 给傻瓜让路  54
6 Wearing Glass 戴眼镜  55
7 Autograph 签名  55
8 You Have Already Beacome a Great Man 你已经成了伟人  56
9 What Are You Really Thinking about 你在想什么  57
10 You Should Pay Double Tuition 你应该付双倍的学费  57
11 I Have Continually to Bow 不断致意  58
12 Stamp 邮票  59
13 Borrow a Book 借书  60
14 Editor’s Reply 编辑的答复  61
15 Worn out Overcoat 爱因斯坦的破烂外套  62
16 He Bathes on Behalf of Me 他代我洗澡  63
17 Charming Girl 美女  64
18 A Strange Creature 奇怪的生物  65
19 A Humorist 一位幽默家  66
20 “The Pope Is Never Wrong”Is Not True 教皇永无过错  67
21 Elementary Knowledge 基础知识  68
22 A Story of Jimmy Durante 杜兰特的单口相声  69
23 What Did He Eat 牛顿“吃饭”  71

第四章　狗血江湖

1 My First Operation 第一次手术  74
2 Bouncing Up and Down 上下跳动  74
3 Rules for Success 成功法则  74
4 You Were Flying Too Low 飞得太低了  75
5 Introductions 介绍  75
6 Got It Again 旧病复发  76
7 I Didn’t 我没打过  77
8 First Baby 第一胎  77
9 Computer Language 计算机语言  78
10 Experience 经验  78
11 Do You Need Help 需要帮忙吗  79
12 The Last Tooth 最后一颗牙  80
13 Pregnant 怀孕  81
14 That Officer Was Not Popular 不受欢迎的长官  82
15 Surgeons 外科医生  82
16 Is She Pregnant 她怀孕了?  84
17 The Warm‐hearted Nurse 热心的护士  85
18 Appeal 上诉  86
19 The Taxi Driver and the Priest 出租车司机和牧师  87
20 A Brand‐new Brain 全新大脑  88
21 Traffic Accident 交通事故  89
22 A Tough Marine Sergeant 粗鲁的海军中士  90
23 How Many Can Be Discharged 多少人能出院  92
24 That’s Your Worry 那是你的事  93
25 Post Haste 紧急邮递  94
26 Old Fire Truck 旧消防车  96
27 A Smuggler 走私犯  97
28 Protect Himself 保护自己  99
29 Cover the Shadow with Sand 用沙子遮住影子  101
30 In Prison VS at Work 监狱与单位  103

第五章　亲密关系

1 I Was in Love and Didn’t Notice It 恋爱中没有注意到  108
2 I’m the Bridegroom’s Mother 我是新郎的母亲  108
3 Looking for a Husband 找个丈夫  109
4 In the Swimming Pool 在游泳池里  109
5 Marry 结婚  110
6 Be inside the Coat 我在外套里  110
7 I’m Hooked on You 我被你勾住了  111
8 Not My Daughter 不是我的女儿  112
9 Dating 约会  113
10 The Baby Will Just Like You Tomorrow 宝宝明天就像你了  113
11 Change 变化  114
12 We’re Divorced 我们已经离婚了  115
13 The New Telephone Number 新号码  116
14 It’s Too Late 太晚了  117
15 Promise or Threat 承诺还是威胁  117
16 Some Conversations on Married Life 婚姻百态  118
17 Thirty Years Younger Than Me 比我年轻三十岁  119
18 He Asked Me First 他先向我索吻了  120
19 Birthday Rose 生日玫瑰  121
20 What Are You Going to Do This Evening 你今天晚上要干什么去  123
21 A Penny Pincher 守财奴  124
22 Rejuvenation Pill 返老还童药片  125
23 My Wife Makes All Small Decisions 小事老婆说了算  126
24 Twins 双胞胎  127
25 I Had Him Buried Upside down 脸朝下埋的  129
26 Always Share 分享一切  130
27 The Perfect Husband 完美丈夫  132

第六章　最强大脑

1 I Think That I Am a Bird 我认为自己是一只鸟  136
2 Does He Bite 它咬人吗  136
3 Put the Peach Back on the Tree 把桃子放回树上去  137
4 I Did Not 我才没有  137
5 Poisonous Snakes 毒蛇  138
6 Frog 青蛙  138
7 Pose for Pictures 拍照留念  139
8 Tell Horses Apart 区分马  140
9 Space Race 太空竞赛  141
10 Chewing Gum 口香糖  141
11 Small White Rabbit Fishing 小白兔钓鱼  142
12 One for the Price of Two 一物二价  143
13 Flying Turtle 飞翔的海龟  144
14 The Ability of the Kangaroo 袋鼠的能力  145
15 Special Kiss 特殊的亲吻  146
16 Another Choice 另一个选择  147
17 Eat，Coat 大衣，你吃吧  148
18 A Boring Man 无聊之人  149
19 He Was Only Wrong by Two 他的答案只比正确答案差二  150
20 The Talking Frog 会讲话的青蛙  151
21 Hot Air Balloon 热气球  153
22 Fast Chicken 跑得飞快的鸡  154
23 Pay for the Mother 为“妈妈”埋单  156
24 Caught by Cannibals 被食人族抓住  157
25 Lion and Lady 狮子和女郎  159
26 A Fish Tale 一条鱼的故事  161
27 Special Pig 神奇的猪  162
28 Who Had the Most Tragic Death 谁死得更惨  164

第七章　急中生智

1 Handsome Man 帅哥  168
2 Fat Man and Thin Man 胖子和瘦子  168
3 Big Surprise 大吃一惊  169
4 Can Not Stop 无法停下来  169
5 The Best Stimulant 最佳兴奋剂  170
6 All Your Life 你的一生  170
7 Lawyer’s Answer 律师的回答  171
8 The Autograph 签名  172
9 A Moron 白痴  172
10 A New Employee 新职员  173
11 It’s Hard to Tell One from the Other 双胞胎难辨  174
12 The 15th Vice President 第十五位副行长  175
13 Who Should Change 谁该换？  175
14 The Bill 账单  176
15 To Take Love More Seriously than Friendship 重色轻友  177
16 Distance 距离  178
17 I’m Calling to Report My Neighbor 检举揭发  179
18 Suitcase 手提箱  180
19 Perfect Match 绝配  181
20 What’s on Your Back 你的背上放什么东西  182
21 A New York Lawyer 一名纽约律师  184
22 The Cleverest Son 最聪明的儿子  185
23 Don’t Worry 不必担心  187
24 The Servant’s Ruse 仆人的诡计  190
25 A Rick Does Long Way 一招解决大问题  192